So Just How Much Chocolate does a Cacao Goddess Eat?
It’s a question we get asked time and time again. So my three best buddies and I sat down to put it to the test. At different times, I have seen Shazzie, Jess Michael and Rochelle Vincente put away huge amounts of chocolate. How much do we really eat? When raw chocolate forms a central part of your job, as it does for us, it is difficult to tell how much you’re eating on a daily basis. We decided to get together with some of our best recipes and have a good girly Saturday night in. We talked about aliens, chocolate, zebras, immortal burgers, secret recipes, psychopaths, the male ego, belief systems, dissolving patterns, Rochelle’s 21st birthday, Tom’s healing hands, massage, breastfeeding, dairy products, eating disorders, Myspace, Youtube, enemas, chocolate penises, Dallas’s short shorts, tampons, changing the world, quadrants, multi-tasking, porn, Oscar, street dance, Sirius, Sirius and Sirius. Raw chocolate works in a similar way to alcohol and cannabis – it loosens the inhibitions, and encourages obscure, revealing, insane and hilarious conversations (especially if you throw a little suma in the mix).
Raw Goddess Cacao Showdown Heat Number One
Round One – Be the Change by Raw Living
We started off with my personal favourite, which contains etherium gold and crystal manna. Etherium gold is the monatomic trace element which balances the two hemispheres of the brain – taking it is a bit like instant meditation, it makes me feel centred, calm, focussed and creative. Crystal manna is a sparkly blue-green algae which makes me feel like a fairy. Rochelle said, “I love the way when you bite into it, it’s all sparkly. It reminds me of eye shadow.” Jess, who had just come downstairs from preparing for the evening’s fun, thought, “That definitely hits the spot. Great post-shower chocolate. That’s the only chocolate I’ve ever had that tastes good after you’ve brushed your teeth. Deep, dark and delicious. It’s a deep chocolate.”
We had some brown lentil, alfalfa, fenugreek and broccoli sprouts as a palate cleanser, and moved on to…
Round Two – Real Raw Chocolate ~ Silver
Mmm, we all loved this, it’s a winner. Shazzie asked Jess why she had chosen to include some of the more unusual ingredients. Jess replied, “We can do what we want with chocolate, there’s no boundaries, there’s no rules. I’m really shattering all my boundaries. Things that people think are weird, that don’t go. It’s about expanding thinking beyond the box.”
At this point, Jess was clearly in the lead with her chocolate munching. Shazzie told her, “Jess, you’re winning because you’re tallest.”
Round Three – Detox Your World – New Bar to be launched in April
If you didn’t already know, Shazzie is a genius (or a vageniyummy as we prefer to say – a female heart-led genius). Her new product is going to entice even more people into enjoying the wonders of raw chocolate. It’s gonna be something people will have no guilt about eating anytime of day, and will be great for giving to children. Unfortunately, by this point, distracted by small girls and big boys, Shazzie had to bow out. “I’m gonna get a chocache,” she said and retired to bed.
Round Four – Bullet Ride by Raw Living in conjunction with Product 0.1
This is Rochelle’s chocolate bar, developed and produced with a little help from me. I don’t often eat it because of the rum in it: I’m very sensitive, and even the little amount of alcohol it contains goes straight to my head. In the day, this doesn’t work for me, but on a Saturday night, it was a brilliant buzz. Jess said, “It’s really perfect stuff. It’s a good texture, it’s a good consistency, it’s a good bite.” Rochelle explained why rum the isn’t just in there for its beautiful flavour. “The rum actually acts as a solvent to draw the minerals in further. It acts as a carrier. That’s why rum is popular in the chocolate.”
We had a mandarin break, followed by some barleygrass and purple corn crackers. By this point we were all reaching our limits. Rochelle said, “If it wasn’t for your crackers I’d probably be throwing up.” Jess was having a problem with her fruit, “The orange won’t go down, it’s stuck, its trying to work itself past the chocolate.” We had intended on having seven rounds, but we limped into round five before calling it a night at 4 a.m.
Round Five – Whoosh by Raw Living
Did I say Be the Change was my favourite? I’m not sure. I am in love with Whoosh. We managed a few bites each. As Rochelle said, “Who woulda thought that 10 g is enough?” Jess was the worst for wear, “I feel nauseous and I’m going to collapse. But not until I’ve eaten Whoosh. Oh my god I’ve been sitting on a cucumber!”
Who could say which was the best? As Jess so wisely answered, “I respect them all. They fulfil different purposes and help me fill different roles in life to make me take on the world as a fully rounded goddess.” She managed to eat 205 g chocolate, “All in the name of winning a crown.” Rochelle came second place with 155 g, I was third at 135 g, and Shazzie was fourth with 70 g. We all agreed that 100 g is probably about optimum for getting cacao’d up without overdoing it. I leave you with my favourite quote of the night from Jess which sums the whole evening up for me.
“I just focus on the beings of light and let the beings of dark bugger off and do something on their own time.”